January 2016 | Reflections.

Hello everybody. This year on my blog as we start a new month, I’m going to write up a blog post about the previous month. I think it will be really fun to look back on this time next year, hopefully to see how far I’ve come!

The first chapter of the year is over. It seems like January was the most stressful month of my life, especially the last week. It felt like everything was going wrong, one bad thing after another.

The start of the month was brilliant, I saw in the New Year with some of my favourite people and I had the best time.
I spent time with my family and had a second Christmas with my Nan and my nieces, which was a great day full of love and happiness.

Then came my 21st birthday and I had the best night out with my girls, it was all I could of wished for. I felt so special and loved, and I had so much fun that night! I only went on a couple of nights out to Pinks this month, and they have all been really good to be fair.

I went to London twice, one trip was for work and the other was for a day of shopping and exploring with Emily. The work trip was fun, I saw my fellow Team South colleagues, people who I only ever speak to over whatsapp, and I got lots of new make-up. Elaine and I also ended up running through London in order to catch our train home, something I have never done before. It was so embarassing and it’s probably the most exercise I have done this year.
Of course the best day was when I went to London with Emily! We went to Camden, took lots of pictures and ate Chinese and we visited Chinatown and Leicester Square. Oxford Street was next on our list and I spent so much money, Victoria’s Secret is my favourite shop so of course I spent a lot in there. The worst blow to my card was in Pandora though, I spent far too much. 3 rings, a pair of earrings and a new charm later and the saleswoman was smiling ear to ear, her commission should definitely be nice this month. Emily and I finished our day in London at the Hard Rock Cafe, we drank cocktails and ate burgers and it was a lot of fun! Apparantly the Hard Rock Cafe in London was the first one to be built, which is so cool. I would definitely love to visit other Hard Rock’s in the world, and see how they are laid out.

January is also the month I started speaking to my ex again. As I left London last Thursday, I received a text from him. I think it’s pretty funny how I told Emily not to allow me in Victoria’s Secret on our London trip if I text him again, and he texts me on the same day I go, literally as I’m going home. It’s like he must have known. I didn’t reply to this message straight away but the next day we started speaking again. I really hope this can be the start of something, it’s the start of 2016 so I’m hoping that it’s only good things between us from now on, no months of silence and definitely no arguments. As 2017 starts next year, I want my ex to have been a solid part of my 2016, and someone who has made my year even better than it would have been.

Like I said to begin with, last month was definitely the most stressful month I have ever experienced. There were many highlights, I haven’t even mentioned the progress Elaine and I have made at work with our sales, but there have also been many lows.

To start with, I have had to move back in with my Nan. Something I never thought I would have to do again. I know it’s not forever, but at the moment I have no clear date of when I will be moving into my house, so it seems awful at the moment. When I first found out I had to move in with my Nan, I was inconsolable. I know it sounds silly, but it felt like the end of the world. I’m so sick of moving around and we weren’t supposed to be moving out of the hub until we had found a real place that we wanted to spend our lives in, for atleast the next 5 years. I was so embarassed and I felt too ashamed to tell my friends what was going on. I know I’m very lucky that my Nan is allowing me to live with her, and I will always be grateful to her. Through this I have learnt compassion, and now whenever I see a homeless person on the street I make it my aim to give them whatever I can. One day I would love to help out more with homeless charities / volunteer in a homeless shelter, and maybe if I too hadn’t felt like I’d lost a home, I wouldn’t feel the need to help other people who are in a situation 10000x worse than I ever could be.

It seems like a lot of my friends have been going through a hard time too. They have had things going on in their life that I wish they didn’t have to deal with. A few of the people I love the most have had terrible things happen to them and I hope I have been there for them enough. I know bad things happen, but it feels as though January was full of negative events. It felt like one thing after another, it leaves me a little baffled really because I’ve never known such trauma. It’s like January was just out to get everyone for some unknown reason, and I feel like a lot of people will agree with me. I just hope February treats all my friends a lot better, because none of them deserve any of the problems they face. I feel happy that I can be there for my friends when they are down, and I feel if anything at least it makes our friendships stronger. I hope that from now on I can be there for my friends in a different way, celebrating with them as good things come their way!

Now we are in February. The month of love, what with Valentines coming up ❤️. The only people I will be spending Valentines with this year are my gals. GALentines Day! I love February because it’s such a short month. I hope my ‘Friendship’ with my ex can survive this month, it’s so short it has too! And maybe if we can get through a month together, we can get through the rest of the year too. I really hope that February does bring me love and security. I hope that I can spend time with my ex that doesn’t just involve me going round to his house and hiding away in his bedroom. I started this month with him, having a really great time NOT at his house, so I really hope this month has started as it means to go on. Of course friends do go round to each others houses every now and then but I don’t want that to be all we have. He goes out for dinner and to the cinema with his other friends, I wish he would want to do those things with me. I am going to try to take each day as it comes and not worry about things. I am going to try and complete the Magic practice this month and watch my life change before my eyes. I can’t wait but I have to be dedicated to this. I am also going to blog more, I miss blogging everyday, posting about my life and my feelings.

January is over. I am thankful for all the good times it bought me. I saw my friends lots and lots and had great times with them, I learnt a lot about compassion and looking out for other people, I visited London twice and visited places that I have never been to before.

Here’s to February! Lots of love and thankyou for reading, Jennie xxxxxxxxxx

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