Hello everybody! I feel like writing a blog post, so that is exactly what I am going to do.
Today I am going to talk about improving my life in little ways, becoming more healthy and also becoming happier. I have spent ALL day today in bed, moping around and being miserable. Do you want to know why? It’s because a guy hadn’t text me in a few hours, ridiculous I know. I saw this picture on twitter just a few hours ago and think its worth sharing.
I should print this out, and stick it EVERYWHERE in my bedroom, I should also set it as my phone background. It’s true. I don’t speak to all of my friends every single day, it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about them. I definitely get way too attached and needy, I can’t help it. When I like someone I want to speak to them 24/7, so when they don’t message me for a while I think they can’t be interested. When my friends dont message back for a couple of hours, I think nothing of it but when it comes to a boy I like (love) then all Hell breaks loose in my mind. The thing is I’ve slept with this guy so now I’m instantly paranoid that since he has got what he wants, he’s going to start acting distant. This has happened to me before with the same guy, so you can understand why I get panicked, but he also did tell me last week that I wouldn’t lose him and he would always talk to me. I have to admit that I actually believe him this time, I don’t doubt him at all. I do actually trust him but when a few hours go by and I hear nothing, I do get upset. I know he will text me like he said, it’s just the waiting that gets to me. I’m so silly. I’ve said previously that I am not going to give up this time and I have to remember how much this guy means to me everytime I think of walking away. I want him in my life, because when I’m with him I feel complete. He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him, just because he hasn’t text me non stop today it doesn’t mean he isn’t interested, so I’m going to do all I can to stay positive. I’m also going to be more assertive and make it clear I want more from him than just a physical relationship, for example he has just told me about a drink he’s having and that I should try it so I’m going to reply with something along the lines of ‘only if you’re buying’. Now I’m not saying I want him to pay for everything, buy me stuff ect not at all, but I think thats a tiny way I can show I have some confidence and I expect to be treated seriously. Normally I’m like a doormat with him, which is not ok and never the type of person I’d want to become, so by saying stuff that shows I expect certain things from him, I feel a little better about myself because I don’t feel like a little mouse or that he’s walking all over me.
I’m also not going to mention any serious relationship stuff just yet. In his head, he might actually want the same as me but just be taking it slow, so if I go in guns blazing confessing my love for him, he will definitely run a mile. Even though I care deeply for him, I’m not going to let it show too much, I’ll stay casual.
I can’t believe how off topic I have gone.. This post was supposed to be about me drinking more water, oops. I guess I just wanted a ramble about my feelings but lets get back on track. I have set myself a goal. I know people take part in ‘Lent’ for religious reasons but I’ve thought this would be a good time for me to start something new, rather than giving up something for 40 days. There’s nothing I really want to give up (maybe my ex, haha)? But I do want to start living a healthy lifestyle, drinking water, exercising, eating fruit and veg. I realise that the more I set myself huge goals, the more I fail, so I’m going to start taking things slowly. I’ve decided that I’m going to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day from now onwards, as water works miracles for the body and mind. I think starting with drinking more water will definitely be the best way to become more healthy, as water is the best thing out there! It can do no wrong. After a couple of weeks, I will then start making it a goal to eat one portion of veg a day and so on. I think easing myself into a healthy lifestyle will be much better than forcing it upon myself.
Hopefully as the weeks go on, I see some major improvements in my diet.
Thankyou for reading my long and rambly post, I’m aware it’s a bit all over the place but sometimes I just like to blog about exactly what I’m feeling at this precise moment. I hope you have all had a lovely day today.
Lots of love, Jennie ❤️