I’m beginning to feel like a bit of a player, since the majority of my posts lately are all about boys. 🙈
Anyway that’s enough post throwbacks for now, let’s get to the issue at hand. Monday morning I wake up and as usual, scroll through my phone like it’s the daily paper. Who doesn’t? There’s no news more important than that of the whatsapp group chat. As I’m scrolling through my notifications I discover I have a facebook message from my ex. It’s by no means an exciting message, just a simple ‘hey’ with a dodgy smiley face that looked like this: :O). I’m guessing the face was a typo but you can never be sure with that boy. He sent me this at half 1 in the morning and it’s been over 48 hours since I have read it and not replied, yippee!
I’m so proud of myself for not replying but as the days go on I want to respond more and more. However I’m being really strong and not messaging back because I have learnt now that giving him chance after chance doesn’t benefit my life at all and I have to think about my future.
If I let my ex back into my life then I can’t expect the right person to walk in and sweep me off my feet. I’m finally starting to realise that we have to let go of the bad in order to make room for the good. I would absolutely love a happy and healthy relationship with someone who is on my wavelength, someone who is adventurous and spiritual and fun and I know that if I keep wasting time with my ex, I’m never going to get what my heart desires.
I’ll admit I do want to talk to my ex and it is a struggle not to reply but I just have to listen to my head this time and not my heart. Although I can listen to my heart when I’m reminded of all the pain he put me through, that’s enough to stop me wanting to reply.
I feel good that he has messaged me and I’ve ignored it, he hurt me so much and left me hanging so many times so it feels like a little triumph to know that I’m the one who ignored him. 😏
I still think about certain things he told me and wonder if he still feels the same, but I’m trying not to dwell on that because maybe he should of actually acted like he cared rather than just telling me. 🤔
What will be will be, but I’m confident in myself that I deserve better. Even if he begs me I can’t be sure I’d give him another chance now but I shall keep you all updated whatever happens.
Until next time, Jennie. ❤️