Delusione e Impazienza

Disappointment and impatience. At least I think that’s what I’m saying. I used google translate, not gonna lie. I’m learning Spanish, not Italian (yet).

Anywho, you may remember my post from a few months ago titled The Law Of Attraction Works, where I mentioned I came home from work to find my father had booked us a holiday to Italy. Well, it turns out the Universe responds as much to negative thoughts as it does to positive ones (like I didn’t already know) and here’s how I manifested the loss of this holiday through lack of positivity and belief. YAY.

Long story short: last year my Dad had to have an operation where he got a stent put in due to be removed a few months later. Half a year passed and there was still no date for it to be removed until finally appointments were arranged for check ups etc etc. The hospital said they would book an appointment for my Dad to have his stent removed ASAP. I remember clearly saying to my Mum ‘what if they book it for August when we are supposed to be going away’? I can’t remember her response but I think it was something along the lines of that shouldn’t be the case, but by that time the seed of doubt was already planted in my head and I could not get rid. For months I felt my belief in the holiday dwindle and with a few hiccups along the way including having to order my Dad a new passport and driving licence, in reference to the holiday all I’d say was ‘I’ll believe it when I see it, I’ll believe it when I see it’.

My dad finally had his op to remove the stent just last week but he has to have a follow up operation, the hospital did ask if there were any dates he couldn’t do and he gave them the dates of our holiday but alas, they didn’t listen and have given him the oh so useful ‘the op will be anytime from the 7th or 8th of August’. Wonderful, so helpful!

So basically, we can’t go to Italy. Not this year anyway. Hence why I’m disappointed. All I wanted to do is go on holiday with my family and spend some quality time with them, but that’s clearly not meant to be for now and all I’ve done is made my parents feel bad for being upset! The priority is obviously my Dads health and I know that’s the most important thing, and what matters is that we are all together however I can’t help but feel absolutely gutted as it’s been my dream to go on a family holiday to Italy since I can remember and now I feel it’s been shattered.

But everything does happen for a reason, and I know that from this will come a world of good, for a start my Dad will finally feel better! He’s been in a lot of pain this past year so now he’s on track to good health and feeling great, which is the most important thing to me. Holidays can and will come later.

We were in talks to go on holiday this time next year for my Dads 60th birthday, potentially Malta or somewhere but we’ve thought why not move this years plans to next and do exactly what we intended just one year later. I think this sounds like the most perfect idea but this is where the impatience comes in….

I am so impatient and such a worrier. When I want something it’s all I can think about until it’s done, it’s just a problem I have and God do I try to be relaxed and go with the flow, but if I could go and book up our hotel for next Summer right now then I would. Money dictates otherwise at the moment but I do have a plan of action which is at least helping me stay a little sane.

I’m going to start saving up specifically for Italy and when I have enough for a hotel deposit and a month or two payments I’m going to discuss with my parents and sister what dates would be best for us, if they’re keen and if they want to come to the travel agents with me to choose a hotel, then I will book it up. I’m aiming to have it booked by the end of this year!

Until I’ve saved up enough money there’s nothing I can do but wait, be patient and trust the Universe. I know I’m a worrier but that’s something I desperately need to change, especially to live a life in alignment with the universe.

Ask, believe, receive. In the words of our favourite Ice Queen Elsa I’ve just got to let it go and stay positive.

Good things come to those who wait.

♥

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6 thoughts on “Delusione e Impazienza

  1. OMG! Staying positive is such a drag for me, no joke. I’m a worrier too and it’s insane the amount of time I spend worrying about the future that I almost never stay present. It’s usually always when I’m alone mostly, but when we’re out and having fun as a family, I can definitely be present. Even having hubby around helps to stay present.
    Anyway, it sucks that your trip got canceled, but maybe try seeing it as a blessing in disguise kind of thing, yes you missed out on this family trip, but your dad will get better from now on 🙂

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    1. Its no fun is it? But its so easy to get sidetracked from living in the moment, definitely something I’m trying to work on controlling! At least when you’re with your family you are able to stay present and enjoy the moment, that’s the most important thing that you’re still enjoying your time with them! Absolutely, and my dads health is the most important thing. We have 100% decided we are going to go next year, so its all worked out for the best. Thank you hun x

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  2. Aw Jennie!!! I’m so sorry to hear about that, total bummer! I’m with you, I’m a total worry wart and I can’t rest until I have a solid plan for whatever it may be. But I think at this point your plan to save up for the Italy trip on your own is your best bet! That’s definitely a nice mature and positive way to turn things around. It’ll be a new goal and new accomplishment and when you do it, it’ll make the experience that much more rewarding in the end. Not all is lost and you’ll still be able to look forward to it! Also wishing a speedy recovery for your dad!!! ❤ ❤

    xo, JJ

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