January Reflections & Behind The Scenes 2020 | Friendship, Family, Trusting Myself & Love Life Rambles

Hello my beauties and welcome back to my blog, and I guess can we say, welcome February? I can’t believe we are one month down into the year already, with 11 months left of 2020. This life is madness.

January was a jam packed month for me, and it definitely set the right tone for the year. I want 2020 to be busy and filled with adventure, and all the quality time with my loved ones which January certainly was, but let’s throw it back to the beginning.

So I started off 2020 with a few of my best friends, and maybe I should share this funny video of me on New Years Morning, welcoming in the ‘Roaring Twenties’… it’s me roaring. I hope you get a giggle out of this-

ANYWAY, so New Years Day actually feels like forever ago, but thankfully I spent it with some of my favourite people, and seeing in the New Year with my best friends is always so special to me. I hope it’s a tradition which lasts forever. Even if it gets to a point where we all have families of our own, I’d love to be able to throw big New Years Eve parties every year, so we at least have the option to be together every year… I’m sure the Universe will find a way to make all my New Years Eve dreams come true, anyway, seeing the New Year in with my best friends is just really special to me, so ramble over.

The second day of January was such a contrast to the first, in terms of it was almost back to ‘reality’, a reality I couldn’t face. I woke up, ready to head into work, and I just burst into tears at the thought of it, which led me to making a big decision. I quit my job! I only had less than a month left where I was working anyway due to the store closing down / my handing my notice in so I could leave early but I just could not face another day there. It felt like it was killing my soul, and over Christmas I honestly felt like I had become a demon. This job was bringing out the worst in me, causing me stress and misery, I had to get out. I know it was only a few weeks that I had to stick out, but that morning, I knew in every bone of my body I wouldn’t be returning. I couldn’t.

I feel like one of the big lessons for me this year so far to put into practice is trusting myself and trusting my intuition more. The morning that I decided to quit my job, I wanted to make a rush appointment to see my Medium / Spiritual Counsellor so I could talk over my decision and get some reassurance that I was making the right choice. As it happens that day, my Medium couldn’t see me, which is actually a blessing because, I had to trust myself. And I knew, deep in my bones, I couldn’t continue with this job. I didn’t need anyone else’s guidance or reassurance, I just needed to trust myself, which I did. We have the answers inside of us, and that’s not to say guidance is never needed, because it is, and it has been very useful to me in my past, especially last year. Asking for advice is a good thing, but sometimes I think deep down we know what it is we have to do, and we just have to believe in ourselves. Our gut instincts and intuition are like messages from our Spirit Guides, and even though it can be scary sometimes, big decisions do need to be made, and we have all the power inside of us to see those through and handle it like a boss. We got this!

There had been other instances last month where I ignored my gut, I ignored what was speaking to my soul in order to make the ‘sensible’ decision or whatever, and in hindsight and based on certain outcomes, I’ve looked back and thought ‘why didn’t I trust myself? Why didn’t I do what I deep down knew was right? To please others? To do what I thought would be the sensible thing? I should have just trusted in myself in the first place, and made the decision best suited to me’, trusting myself was definitely a focus for last month, and I’m sure it’s one of the lessons I will carry through with me this year. To really prioritise trusting my instincts, and allowing them to lead me exactly where I need to be. I believe in me, I hope you believe in You.

Moving on from those lessons a little, as you may know I shared my first weekend highlights of the year back in January which was ‘the perfect weekend to begin 2020’, which is fabulous. I spent quality time with both my friends and family, which I’m pleased to say continued throughout the month. I saw my Grandparents, and later on in the month, I got to see my brother and my nephew when they visited. Of course I have two wonderful nephews now, but as my brother and his family live a little further away, I don’t see them as often as I see my sister and her family. Altogether, we spent the day together as a family, my parents, sister, her family and of course my brother and his family (just missing my sister in law who was poorly, we’ll definitely see her soon). It was lovely to spend time together with my family, and seeing my eldest nephew meeting my youngest was just so precious!! They’re going to be the best of buds, I’m sure.

Along with this, I of course went away with my Mama and Papa for my birthday, which you’ll know if you read my ‘Barcelona Birthday Celebrations’ (woop woop woop). I won’t ramble on too much about it here since I’ve already written about the trip, but it was definitely a great way to kick off a year which I hope is filled with all the travel and adventure, and ensuring this decade starts the way I wish for it to go on, with all the travel with my loved ones. Barcelona is a beautiful, vibrant, fun city which I am so pleased I got to visit with my parents and I had such a beautiful time there, I definitely hope to return, Barcelona is such good vibes, it makes my heart soar!



So I’m grateful that I had adventures with my parents but I also was blessed with adventures with my girls too, as we spent a weekend in Manchester celebrating my birthday. The girls are so good to me, and they spoiled me with balloons and presents, including my favourite brownies from Mrs Mac’s. How thoughtful are my besties? So thoughtful! We had a fun weekend in Manchester, with a few drinks at pre drinks which was so much fun, followed by an hour or so clubbing in the Gay Village where we visited a few different clubs, though a few of us didn’t stay out so long, we ended up heading back and ordering Uber Eats. You can’t beat after clubbing food really, can you? I look forward to it all night. Cheesy chips for the win!


Along with great adventures, I spent plenty of quality time with both my friends and my family. I went on beautiful walks which are always such a blessing, and I hope to go on many more walks this month too. I went out for a good few dinners, Starbucks dates with my Soul Sister, mini golf with my bestie, a walk with my Mum and Dad plus so much more. I also saw my Nan a couple of times too, so I really spent my January with all my loved ones. Blessed is the word! I’m so excited for the rest of the year to continue on this way.

I want to talk a little about dating, as I’ve been single for almost a year now and since ending things with August Boy last year, I’ve only been on ONE date, which was around Autumn / Winter time last year. I can’t even remember. I think it was when I got back from New York but for real, I’m not sure. Anyway, I’m not gonna lie, I have been feeling a little exasperated. I’ve been feeling frustrated, wondering why the heck I’m not meeting anybody etc etc, I’m also not a fan of online dating yet I’ve still definitely been partial to Tinder swiping because you know, boredom. I hate it though, and I’ve deleted my Tinder app now because I’m so over it. I’ve always said I hope to meet my soulmate naturally, and if Tinder felt right to me then I’d go for it, but being on there fully lowers my vibe, when I want to feel happy and excited, so I just don’t see the point. However, I did spend some time last month on Tinder, and I did get chatting to a boy. Things seemed to be going well and we were speaking consistently everyday which was fun, and he seemed like a nice lad. However, two days before we were due to meet up, he went really weird, and went from texting me a good few times everyday to just one message on the Thursday, then none on the Friday. Of course, I began to lose interest because I get bored quickly, and it’s odd that he went from being so consistent to virtually nothing. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for one day, and of course he doesn’t owe me anything, but still, I just didn’t get it? He’d literally messaged me saying how excited he was for our date, then after that he literally went from 100-0. It’s f*cking bizarre. So it got to the day of the date (Saturday) and he’d messaged me saying he’d been busy, which I never quite get as an excuse because no matter how busy I am, if I want to speak to someone, I find the time, and if I’m really busy for whatever reason, then I’ll let that person know, we’re all different though I know that, but I detected a red flag. And red flags are not to be ignored. Especially when I hadn’t even met the guy yet, he’d already let me down so by then, my vibes were off. I messaged him back and asked if he still wanted to meet that night anyway, because I thought ‘hey it won’t hurt, but at least I know if this happens again then I won’t allow it, but what harm could going for a drink do?’… Well, low and behold, just a few hours before HE CANCELS ON ME. A few hours before we were supposed to be meeting up, really? His excuse was, possible, however, I do feel as though had I not have asked him if he still wanted to meet, he probably wouldn’t have said anything. He did ask if we could reschedule, but I just messaged him back with a ‘that’s fine’ because I’m not tolerating this behaviour. Flaky already? It’s a no from me hun. I’ve put up with too many fuckboys in my lifetime, and I’m not having it again. Days went by, and I expected not to hear from him again, but guess who pops up a few days later asking if I wanted to go for a drink in the week? Tinder boy. I politely declined, and whilst I wish him all the best, I’m really not looking to waste my time, and he had his reasons I’m sure, but to go from 100-0 that quickly without even an explanation just isn’t the one. At all. I deserve better, and I’m going to get it!

But moving on from Mr Tinder Date, I have another little story which is a bit giggly, though no dating tings’ but love related all the same, ish. Last week, I was at Starbucks with my Soul Sister Vikki, and a lad walked in who she claimed gave me a ‘look’, she asked me if he was my type and I said ‘yeah’, so we were like right, we need to get him my number. In the end, I wrote my number on a bit of paper, Vikki shaped it into a paper aeroplane, I wrote ‘Open for a surprise’ on one of the wings (or whatever) and we asked another guy that was sitting near us if he could pass it over to Mr My Type after we’d left (I didn’t want to face giving it to him myself, haha). The next day, I received a Whatsapp from the guy thanking me for the surprise, and whilst it didn’t go anywhere, it’s still a funny story and I’m sure it brought joy to all involved. Sometimes you just gotta shoot your shot. And they say things come in threes, so I wonder who my next little love story will be with. We’ll see. Life’s an adventure after all, as is love.

So, what a month January turned out to be! I really hope this month is more of the same, good times with friends, good times with family, adventures, travel, exploring, fresh walks, smiles, love and laughter. And hopefully I have some more dating stories for you in my February reflections! Or maybe by then, I’ll have met the One, who knows? This month, along with everything else I’ve mentioned that I hope it to be, I really want to focus on my self love, achieving my goals, working hard and disciplining myself to do my best, every single day, and just being my best self 100%. I hope to fall in love with myself more this month, and I just hope it’s filled with all the good times and giggles. Yes please!

What did you get up to in January? What was your highlight for last month? What are your hopes for February? Be sure to let me know all your thoughts in the comments below.

Have a wonderful day, and a very blessed February,

with all my love,



Instagram: @50shad3s0fj4y

Read: Barcelona Birthday Celebrations / Manifesting Barcelona | A Law Of Attraction Success Story / Manifesting Money Success Story #1 / The Perfect Weekend To Begin 2020 | Weekend Highlights / Less Thinking, More Manifesting / Bloggers To Follow In 2020 / You Deserve To Live The Life Of Your Dreams | Poetry


  1. Oh my goodness, so much has happened in January!

    Congratulations on quitting your job! I am a firm believer that you should never sacrifice your mental health and well being for a job (if you can afford to). I’ve definitely been in your situation where I couldn’t take a job anymore and it would bring me SO much anxiety and misery just walking through the doors. There are many more opportunities out there that brings joy to your life when you work. I’ve quit jobs without anything lined up and it has created great opportunities for me when I trusted myself and what the universe had in store for me.

    That banana picture is just the cutest, AND that sparkly dress is sexy!

    Finally, amen to no fuckboys ever!!!! They are the worst and kudos to you for seeing the red flags asap. You definitely deserve someone that makes the time for you and respects the plans arranged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you hun and absolutely!!!! A million percent, I don’t think any job is worth damaging your mental health over and I also believe the Universe rewards bravery and risks! It’s about telling the Universe nope, I’m not gonna put up with this shit because I know you’re going to provide something better for me. If you stick it out out of fear of the unknown, I almost feel like its saying you don’t trust the Universe!

      Hehe thanks hun! It’s a fun pic! And I love the dress but its annoyingly short! Felt like I couldn’t really dance properly because I kept pulling it down 😦 maybe more for cocktails than clubbing next time!!!

      YES!! 100% thank you! I just think, we set the tone for how we allow people to treat us! If I’d have said yes to seeing him, he would be thinking he can cancel on me whenever because I already tolerating it! No way honey!!! Thanks so much for your comment beautiful, have a great week!


  2. What a wonderful New Year’s you had! I agree, its the best when you can spend it with people you truly love and I hope the tradition never dies out for you!

    I’m sad to know that it has been such a struggle to even get up for a job that is sucking the life out of you. BUT YOU QUIT! I’m so happy you took that leap and listening to your gut and not letting it take one more inch of your soul!

    Urgh I hate it when people just flip on you randomly. Tinder boy is an arse whatever his reasons may be, thank god you saw the red flag and didn’t continue on wasting your time.

    HAHA I love that you gave him your number in an aeroplane that’s so cute!!!!!!!!! AHHHH

    What a wonderful journey January has been so far! Excited to see how your February is going to turn out! 😘🥰


  3. Congrats on quitting a job that made you feel anything but happy. I constantly tell my brother and husband the same thing and that I will always support whatever decision they make because better things have yet to come.
    Makes me so happy when people get to spend time with their family, as its one of my favorite things as well. I love that you went to Spain with your parents and enjoyed yourself, I loved reading about that. It reminds me of the times we’ve traveled to other states with my kiddo and I hope that even though sometimes its stressful for him, that he enjoys the time we spend with him and that he cherishes these memories in new places just as you do with yours 🖤🖤
    And seeing that picture with bananas hanging reminds me of a place in Vegas you might want to check out. Its called Happy Place and I only came across it yesterday! It’s an interactive pop up exhibit and apparently it’s very “instagramable” lol I hope my boys want to go there as well
    Anyway, love how your girls spoil too! So nice of them to treat you to a nice little celebration together.
    Honestly I’m glad that you didn’t go on a date with that guy, definitely seems off to change so quickly in such a short amount of time. I’m sure you will come across someone better. And you will.
    And funny story with that guy,.I have been thinking about that “things come in three’s” as well for some strange reason and I cannot help but think that applies here too.
    I love that you’ve brought up self love for the month, I actually made that my “word/phrase” for 2020 as I decided to skip resolutions and “goals”. Which I know is weird considering I have a bucket list this year, however i don’t consider those goals, but rather opportunities to spend time with friends and family and create new memories together. I like that lol.
    Anyway, sorry I write such long comments haha


  4. hahahaha your roaring twenties made me laugh!! And wow a lot’s happened to you this month. Good for you for quitting your job! I definitely agree with you about trusting yourself and it doesn’t make sense to continue with something that’s making you miserable. And Barcelona is incredible- looks like you had a great time!! 😀 ❤


  5. You are SUCH a bright lady beauty! These pictures are stunning nd instantly screamed joy! They brightened my day! I am glad January was such an amazing month and I hope that February is equally as amazing! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so happy to read that January has set the right tone for your 2020, babe! That video of you roaring is the darn cutest thing ever lol. ♡ Congrats on quitting that horrid job! Nothing is ever worth the draining, demon feeling. You are so right about the answers always already being within us. We just have to search deep & find them. ♡ I really needed to read that– about trusting my instinct & believing in me. Thank you. ♡

    So sweet that your two nephews got to meet for the first time & your friends really did treat you so well, just how you deserved!!! 🥳 I so agree about after clubbing food– nothing beats it!!

    Cannot believe that Tinder guy. How flaky & I am so glad you hit him with a “that’s fine” when he wanted to reschedule. You go girl!!! & that was adorable how you slipped your number to the Starbucks guy. I heard that things come in threes, too, so I am just on my toes, waiting for this next love story to happen for you!!! ♡♡♡


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