Spirituality in the a Court of thorns and roses series…
DISCLAIMER (spoilers and trigger warnings) – this post discusses mental health problems, triggers, intrusive thoughts and Spoilers regarding A Court Of Thorns and Roses and Harry Potter.
Hey, i want to say ‘hello, my loves’ and babes, I’ve gotta fake it till I make it but this is not about my mental health right now.
I’ve been picking up on themes of spirituality in the A Court Of Thorns and Roses series, I’m currently reading ‘a court of silver flames’ and phew… I can relate to Nesta at this moment in my life. But her healing journey is so beautiful, the love is glorious. I pray pray pray I can find that too. If we’re talking about mental health, I can state I’ve been in this dark place before, it’s so scary but I’ve gotten through it so I pray I can again. So deeply. It’s like a lack of self worth, self love, unconditional love but then, to love myself unconditionally would be to accept the dark parts of me? That’s terrifying. I don’t want that. I don’t want those dark parts. I know we can choose the light, and that quote in Harry Potter is resonant to that where Harry fears he is like Voldemort because they have links between one another, and Dumbledore says ‘We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on…that’s who we really are.’ At least I think it’s Dumbledore who says this… well anyway, Harry Potter and Spirituality is a whole other topic that I’ll break down at some point because there’s a lot to be learnt there and received… oh gosh. Let me just delve into that one important part from Harry Potter I want to mention. Patronus’ and the Boggart. The Boggart right, where they turn their fears into something to laugh at? Gosh I need more of that because oh, my life lacks laughter right now. And I feel, it’s when I’m vulnerable, that’s when fear starts creeping in. Like its the Devil and it can sense my vulnerability, so I face attack. I think my Spiritual counsellor taught me that, or gave me that idea. And I saw someone tweet once that overthinking is a sign of the devil so. But please do not fear, my love. Just trust. Call upon Archangel Michael for Divine protection. I want to talk about what made me vulnerable this time round, but we are getting off topic aren’t we? This is supposed to be about ACOTAR, and the Spiritual themes in the story / spiritual representation.
Firstly, let’s talk about what I was dreaming of today. Feyre and Rhys’ connection. Reading their story, I totally felt twin flame vibes from their connection, though now I’m not sure if the whole concept of twin flames is something I myself even resonate with. However, there’s no denying that the concept of ‘mates’ in the ACOTAR series made me think of twin flames when reading. The parallels exist- the fact there is only one mate, and really we only have *one* twin flame, you can have multiple soulmates but only one twin. And the deep Spiritual connection. How they can communicate telepathically, and today, that’s what I craved, that other part of me to whom I can just transmute my thoughts and what I feel, the images in my mind, and be loved and accepted unconditionally. Speaking out loud, it’s so scary sometimes, when I go through this ‘dark night of the soul’ for God knows the second time (though I’ve seen someone have the opinion we only have one dark night of the soul, I don’t think I agree – full respect to them though but i feel like hm… I don’t know because even writing this, I’m pulling myself out of that dark place), the thought of just being able to explain what’s in my heart through thought transmission so someone can comfort me and heal me and… save me even! Oh that would be Divine.
We also have the fact that in the physical copy of A Court Of Mist And Fury (one of my personal faves of the series) the scene where Rhys confesses all his love for Feyre and everything he has done out of love for her, that chapter ends on page 528. 528hz = the love frequency! Beautiful! 💓
I also relate Cassian and Azriel’s siphons to Chakras. BRB- just taking a break from this… to eat some petit filous! Woo
Okay I’m back
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Feyre and the Ouroboros – right! So here we see Feyre face the Ouroboros and it shows her the monster within? She sits with it. This I relate to facing our shadow self. As i go through this dark night of the soul, I see it as my shadow self, my Ouroboros moment, and I can escape all I want, or at least try to because we can never truly escape ourselves and as for me, my escapism looks like video games, scrolling through social media, downloading dating apps, even reading to an extent but honestly, I thought this earlier, about Ariadne and the Divine Feminine deck by Meggan Watterson ‘the only way out is through’ the only way out is through, right? Sitting with the Ouroboros, our deepest fears and shadows coming to the surface.. greeting them. They can’t stay buried. It’s so scary, that I don’t deny, but I try, try to see it as empowering. For example in the book, A Court Of Wings and Ruin, when / after Feyre has faced the Ouroboros, another character says this to her ‘It’s a rare person to face who they truly are and not run from it — not be broken by it. That’s what the Ouroboros shows all who look into it: who they are, every despicable and unholy inch. Some gaze upon it and don’t even realize that the horror they’re seeing is *them* — even as the terror of it drives them mad. Some swagger in and are shattered by the small, sorry creature they find instead. But you…Yes, rare indeed.’ I mean, can’t lie, I’d say I’ve felt pretty broken, facing this Ouroboros of mine… but I’ve tried to tell myself amidst this darkness, it’s just the Ouroboros, maybe it’s not even something I need to overcome, just learn to live with. That’s terrifying in itself too. But, that’s how I relate to and see the Ouroboros symbolism, our shadow self, the darkest parts of us, our fears and intrusive thoughts.
Back to the Chakras, I do relate Cassian and Azriel’s siphons to the Chakras, our own energy centres. Charging that power. Maybe right now my chakras are all unaligned. Fuck. I feeeel unaligned and unbalanced which got me into this vulnerable state in the first place, the lack of balance. The lack of grounding. May was hectic for me and it rocked me and my mental health. It wasn’t even necessarily bad. Like I swear… I just felt very ungrounded and out of alignment too. I went back to work in an industry I have sworn one million times I’d never do again. I’ve been in this cycle, and maybe it’s my ego, I know what will happen if I go back to that environment, it’s rough and unaligned but at least I know. So I left. It wasn’t just that it was unaligned, there were reasons but essentially, I felt ungrounded – brb, dinner! Mac and Cheese tonight, what about you?
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Oh!! I meant to share a link to this beautiful meditation when talking about chakras being unbalanced, it’s so gorgeous! From Jason Stephenson. ❤️❤️❤️
I feel like I’m tapped out now… I love Nesta’s resilience, with those stairs in ACOSF! Having a goal, something to work towards with her training. But for now, I’m done with this post. Let me know what you think, and if anyone’s struggling please reach out to a mental health professional, Spiritual Counsellor or trusted loved one (make sure they’re in a space where they can receive your words safely and not struggling themselves)! Please don’t keep it all inside. You are loved. ❤️❤️❤️
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