Feeling blue. πŸ’­πŸ’–β˜„

Hey guys. πŸ’•β˜„ Today has been a bit of a blue day for me today. 😞 I had to reapply my makeup about 100 times because I kept getting teary at work, which makes me mad because that’s so embarassing and unprofessional! Sigh, hopefully nobody noticed. πŸ™„

Last night I had a dream about my ex. You know it’s all great when I’m dreaming about it, but I woke up feeling grumpy because my dream wasn’t reality and obviously memories of my ex were crowding my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about him all day.

It’s almost been one month since we have had any contact with each other. It will be a month on Thursday and I will be so happy. Every Thursday I count the weeks because each week that goes by is more distance between us.

I have to be strong. Sometimes I still believe he is the one for me and I miss him so much, but then when I have him in my life I often feel as though he isn’t the one for me. It’s so confusing. But I needn’t worry since I am trying to move on. So it doesn’t matter what I think right now.

I know I deserve better than this. But I also know he is happy. This bothers me. It shouldn’t bother me, but why should he be happy whilst I think about and miss him everyday. There isn’t a day which goes by that I don’t think about him.

I think he is a liar. He doesn’t care about me at all. If he cared about me, he would act as if he does. Whilst we were speaking this last time, he told me one of his ‘biggest secrets’ was that he wanted to have children with me. He told me that when he was with me he felt different to usual, in a good way. He told me that we had a ‘connection’ and that we always end up coming back together. He told me he valued me. He would message me again and again if I didn’t reply straight away to his texts. He would leave a row of kisses with every text he sent. One time I turned my phone off to save battery, and I turn it back on to see panicky messages from him asking me why his message hadn’t been delivered, as if he was afraid I had blocked him.

He told me he wasn’t interested in a relationship. He wasn’t interested in a relationship, but he wanted us to have a family together? That makes perfect sense.

I once read a quote talking about how someone may love you, but what matters is how they show it. My ex may have cared for me, but he didn’t care enough to prove it.

I don’t think it would ever be possible for us to be in a happy, healthy relationship with one another. We have too much damaged history.

I don’t know if there will ever be a time for us. If we could ever be a part of each others lives. Part of me hopes we could be friends, but what would be the need? If I fall in love with someone else, then why would I need to be friends with my ex?

He is my first love. He could never be ‘just a friend’.

Since I was thinking about him today, I decided to unblock his number. Then I thought, no I mustn’t ever let him back in! So I was going to block his number again, when I thought ‘What is the point’? He doesn’t miss me, or want me in his life. If he did he wouldn’t have let me go. He isn’t going to contact me again. But in the end I decided it was important for me to block his number. Just in case. I have also deleted his number, it would be pretty easy for me to find it again but I don’t intend to.

Just dreaming about him has completely rained on my day. This is the power he has over me. I’ve wasted precious time being grumpy and sad, when I should have been working to be the best I can be. I should have been valuing my time with my loved ones. Why should I ever let someone who makes me feel so bad come back into my life? In what way does he deserve my love? He doesn’t.

One month on Thursday since we last spoke. I don’t feel like this is the end, but give it another couple of months and maybe I’ll feel differently. I will not contact him myself, if he contacts me I will muster up all my strength to not reply.

Thankyou for reading. Love, Jennie. πŸ’– xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

MUA Monday. Avant Garde.β˜„

Hey guys, it’s time for another Makeup Monday and I’m so excited for this post as I am going to be sharing with you one of my favourite looks that I have ever created.

This following look was for an Avant Garde photoshoot and I absolutely love how it turned out. Avant Garde looks are some of my favourite to do because you can get creative and have lots of fun with it.

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Look how beautiful my model is! As you can see, I’ve focused on two complimentary colours with this look – purple and yellow. I love the purple lipstick I used from a Charles Fox / Kryolan palette.

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I contoured my models face with a pretty purple eye shadow, to tie in with the purple lips and coloured feathers. This look is very colourful and fun, so a noticeable purple contour was the perfect finish to go for.

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As well as the makeup, I also styled my models hair to finish off the look and give it that extra Avant Garde touch. I used coloured feathers around the eye area and then brought those into the hair too, placing them messily into the plaits.

I really love how this look turned out and I think the professional images from the shoot are fantastic. I enjoyed using the feather adornments to create a more vibrant and fun look, and I love all the colours used.

Thankyou for reading, let me know what you think of this look in the comments!

Love, Jennie. πŸ’– xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Follow my Instagram here. πŸ’–

MODEL – BECKY SMYTH.
PHOTOGRAPHER – KIETH from CLAYFIELD IMAGES.
MUA & HAIR – JENNIFER BALLARD

Inspirational Quotes πŸ’•πŸ’–

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Hey loves. πŸ’•πŸ’– Today it’s time for me to share a few more of my favourite quotes with you. Who doesn’t love an inspiring / positive / motivational quote?

‘Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate’. 🌷 This is something to remember especially if you’re a big believer in the Law Of Attraction. Talking about what you love and sharing your passions with people will bring you joy and happiness, whilst also spreading positive vibes. Of course when it comes to the Law of Attraction, the more you talk about what you love the more you will attract what you love into your life. So rather than promoting negativity and attracting what you don’t like, promote what you love and attract HAPPINESS. πŸŒžβ˜€οΈ

‘Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own’.Β πŸ„ Okay for me especially this is an important one because I work on a make-up counter and I’m surrounded by gorgeous girls everyday. It’s so easy to fall into a trap and compare myself to the girls I see around me, but I always remember that I am beautiful too and there are qualities that I have which other’s may admire. Everyone is beautiful, we can look at others and see the beauty in them but that doesn’t take away our own beauty. We can all see the beauty in one another and I love complimenting people whether it be on their eye colour, their hair colour or their beautiful smile! A compliment can make someones day so don’t hold back in giving them. Again when it comes to the Law of attraction, admiring beauty in others will attract beauty back to you.

‘When you look for the good in others, you will find the best in yourself’. πŸ’«Β This is a beautiful thing to remember, everyone has something special about them. Everyone has good qualities which they possess! By always seeing the best in people you will find relationships strengthen and you yourself are a better person for focusing on the good in others. The more good you see in others the greater they will become and finding the good qualities in others will highlight your best qualities too.

Those are all the quotes I am going to share with you today. I really hope you have enjoyed reading this post and you feel more positive and inspired after leaving this page.

Thankyou very much for reading. Lots of love, Jennie. πŸ’– xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

An introduction to the Law Of Attraction. β˜„βœ¨

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I was introduced to the Law Of Attraction in 2013 when my sister sent me a copy of the book ‘The Secret’. This was one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received as it’s helped to change my life in many ways.

The Law Of Attraction is all about how positivity, good vibes and visualisation can attract everything you wish for into your life. The LOA is all about the Universe. The Universe is your friend and whatever you are thinking about, it will bring about. That’s why it’s so important to think good thoughts as that’s what the Universe will mirror back to you in your life.

‘The Secret’ was the first book I ever read all about the LOA. The Secret is the Law Of Attraction. ‘The Secret’ is a really powerful, motivating and inspiring book which instantly uplifts you whenever you read it. Since reading The Secret I have manifested jobs, experienced improvements in relationships and I am now using positivity and visualisation to manifest more travel opportunities.

For example, I once applied for a job with Urban Decay and I got the interview. Before the interview, I pictured myself telling people I worked for Urban Decay and in my heart I just knew I had the job. I wasn’t even worried. I knew the job was mine before I technically had it. Guess what, I got the job.

Another example is how I turned a really horrible relationship around. I was in a relationship with this guy and I spent most of the time complaining about him and our relationship. I wasn’t happy but I really wanted us to be. Whenever someone asked me how things were between us I would tell them how bad it was, how unhappy I was ect. Then one day I realised I was doing it all wrong and even though thing’s weren’t great between us I started telling people they were. Whenever someone asked about my relationship I would say things were great, everything was going really well! I instantly saw a change in my relationship as my ex and I spent the happiest four days together, our relationship actually was a happy one for once. In the end we went our seperate ways, but those few days together were amongst some of our happiness and I know it was down to positive thinking.

With the LOA it’s important to really believe that you already have exactly what you want. In ‘The Secret’ they give a great example, you make an order to the Universe like you would make an order from a catalog. Tell the Universe what you want and know it’s on it’s way to you, don’t worry about it or dwell on it. Like you know your order from a catalog is guaranteed, your order from the Universe is also guaranteed as long as you BELIEVE.
Don’t doubt it.

Recently, I placed a bet on the Grand National. The day before the race I thought to myself ‘it would be so great to win’! That was that, I didn’t dwell on it, I didn’t beg the Universe. It was completely effortless. My horse ‘Rule The World’ was the winner of the race and I won over Β£100. I was so happy and I knew it was down to that one little positive thought.

After reading The Secret I have gone on to buy more Spiritual / LOA books including:

‘Hero’ Rhonda Byrne.
‘The Magic’ Rhonda Byrne.
‘The Secret Daily Teachings’ Rhonda Byrne.
‘The Key and The Secret to living the Law of attraction’ Jack Canfield & D.D Watkins.

This post was my way of introducing you to the Law Of Attraction if you didn’t already know about it. I seriously suggest you look into it more, by checking out The Secret website: http://www.thesecret.tv and also this amazing Law Of Attraction youtube channel – https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC7Bm8f0XzoKCVOkGEq4AArw

When you know about the Law Of Attraction, your life will change for the better.

Have you read ‘The Secret’? Do you practice the LOA or are you going to look into it more now you have read this post? Let me know in the comments. Β Love, Jennie. ✨

*For more 50shadesofjay follow me on insta & twitter! Insta – 50SHAD3S0FJ4Y + Twitter – 50shad3s0fjay πŸ’• Thankyou.*

 

Father’s Day 2016. β€οΈ

Hey guys. How’s everyone’s Father’s Day been?

I think my Dad’s had a good day today. He’s done exactly what he’s wanted to do and I’m happy about that. I’ll be honest, I didn’t spoil my Dad at all today – the one time I finally have Father’s Day off work and I don’t treat him at all. πŸ™„ Even a Father’s Day card proved to be too difficult for me asΒ when I went to write my Dad’s card this very morning I realised it was a BIRTHDAY card. I actually bought my Dad an awesome Father’s Day card this year however silly me left it at my friends house. Last night after work I stopped at Clinton’s Cards to buy another and in my hurry I picked up the first one that I saw with ‘Dad’ written on it and didn’t even bother to read the actual message. Oops, at least it made us giggle and Dad saw the funny side. I will just have to give him his other card another time.

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I hadn’t bought my Dad a present because my sister and I were going to take him out to play Adventure Mini Golf, but plans changed last minute and we ended up going to Surrey to visit my family, including my lovely Grandparents. We do intend on going to play Mini Golf soon so he won’t miss out, me and ZoΓ« will still pay for it. 😊 Even though Mini Golf would have been lots of fun my Dad hadn’t seen his parents in months. He really wanted to see his Dad on Father’s Day so I’m glad we visited them. I know my Dad was happy to see his Mum and Dad and obviously I was pleased to see my Gran and Grandad. They are so lovely. ❀️ We also saw my Aunt and Uncle as we went to their house for Afternoon Tea. Again, we haven’t seen them in ages so it was nice to catch up. We’ve only seen my Grandparents twice this whole year, it would be great if we could see them more often.

We stayed at my Uncles house till about half 5, then we hit the road! The journey home was so boring, there was a lot of traffic on the motorway. A poor girls car had broken down right in the middle of the motorway, she hadn’t even managed to get onto the hard shoulder. I feel so sorry for her, I hope she’s managed to get help by now and she’s no longer stuck on the motorway. Bless her. πŸ’•

After around two hours we finally got home, so my sister picked her car up and went back to her house then Mum, Dad and I went to the pub for a drink. We have just had a Chinese takeaway for dinner and Β we are watching ‘The Little Rascals save the day’ which is such a cute film.

Even though I didn’t buy my Dad any presents, we spent quality time together visiting Family which was a gift in itself. My Dad definitely had a nice Father’s Day and that’s what matters the most.

I hope you’ve all had a lovely day celebrating Father’s Day, thankyou for reading about mine. Love, Jennie. ❀️ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lush bath bomb haul.🌷

Hey guys, I hope you’re all well. The other day at work I saw a customer walk in with a bag full of Lush goodies. I realised it had been ages since I had treated myself to any Lush products, so that evening I popped into Lush and treated myself to some bath bombs.

Today I am going to show you the bath bombs that I bought (Which I’ve already used, oops)!
Fizzbanger.


When it comes to bath bombs, I always tend to buy the same ones over and over so I thought it was time I tried something new. After looking at a few different bath bombs, I decided to buy the ‘Fizzbanger’ because I liked that it was yellow and I thought it sounded fun. When I popped it in the bath, it fizzed away (as you would expect from a bath bomb called fizzbanger) to reveal a blue ‘interior’ turning the bath water bright shades of blue and yellow. I’ve never had yellow bath water before, I liked it. It gave me all the Summer vibes. 🌞 In the very centre of the bath bomb, was a little piece of paper which said ‘BANG’, which you can see in the picture above. I thought this was really random but hey, I guess it added an element of surprise because I wasn’t expecting to find a bit of paper in my bath bomb. Scent-wise it smelt sherbetty to me, however Lush describe it to be ‘Apple Orchard scented’. Either way it smelt good. I would definitely buy this bath bomb again.

Sexbomb.


The Sexbomb has always been one of my favourite bath bombs. It’s so pretty and I love the pink and purple colourings of it, with the little flower in the middle. This bath bomb turns the water pink which is obviously the best colour for a bath, at least for me, the colour pink is my favourite. The flower in the centre of the bath bomb makes the water feel quite soft and creamy, which is really nice. Scent-wise this bath bomb is nothing too crazy, just the type of scent you would expect from a bath bomb. I think the ‘Sexbomb’ is so beautiful, I will always keep repurchasing this one.

Intergalactic.


‘Intergalactic’, the BEST bath bomb EVER. This bath bomb is absolutely stunning, it is by far my favourite I have ever used. It looks gorgeous before you even use it, but when it hits the water then its just wow. 😍 Absolutely stunning. This mostly turns the water a midnight blue colour – like the night sky, however before it settles you get hints of pinks and purples and other pretty shades. This bath bomb is glittery too which makes it all the more perfect, because it makes the water sparkle and then when you get out of the bath, you sparkle too. ✨ This bath bomb has quite a strong scent, minty freshness is how I would describe it. It’s absolutely perfect and I will always love this bath bomb the most, if there’s such a thing as a magical bath bomb then Intergalactic is the one.

Those are all the bath bombs that I have purchased recently! I will definitely be doing another Lush haul soon because I love Lush so much, who doesn’t?

I hope you enjoyed this post, thankyou for reading. Love, Jennie. ❀️ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Father’s Day gift ideas. β€οΈ

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‘A girls first love is her Father.’ Me and my Dad. ❀️

If you live in the UK like myself then you will know Sunday the 19th of June is Fathers Day!! A day to show our Dad’s how much we love and appreciate them. A day for our fathers to sit back and relax, watch their favourite TV shows and if they’re lucky, have dinner cooked for them.

I absolutely love my Dad. I am 100% a daddy’s girl, so I always want to make sure his Father’s Day is the best it can be.

Today I thought it would be fun to share with you a few Father’s Day gift ideas, and ideas of what you could do for your father to show him how much you love him (Or just to earn some Brownie Points… Either way).

GIFT IDEAS.
A sealed money pot.

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Last Christmas I bought my Dad a money pot which can only be opened if you smash it, the idea is to fill it with as much money as possible before you smash it so when the time comes you have lots of money saved up. I think this little pot is a great idea because you can use it to save up to go on a day trip together, or put towards a holiday or weekend away. A present which will enable you to create memories, what better gift is there?

A personalised present.

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Anything personalised is always a great idea, as it adds that little something special to a gift. These days you can get pretty much anything personalised – Phone cases, keyrings, mugs! The list is endless. I bought my Dad a personalised keyring one Christmas, and my sister bought him a lovely personalised mug one year for Father’s Day. Whatever you think your Dad will like the most or use the most is the best thing to go for. My Dad drinks tea everyday so a mug was a great thing to go for since he will use it often, but if you’re dad uses his phone a lot maybe even for work purposes then a phone case is perfect.

A Lynx gift set.

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Okay, it’s pretty standard that if you’re a guy then at some point in your life you will receive at least one Lynx giftset. Whether it’s a Christmas present, a birthday present or a Father’s Day present – a Lynx giftset is basically to be expected. So really, what else is there to buy your Dad on Father’s Day? Besides, everyone benefits from shower gel and body spray.

Other Ideas.

Cook your Dad breakfast.
A cooked breakfast is always a winner, but cooking lunch or dinner for your dad is just as nice. Cooking for someone is a great way to show them you care, even better if you’re cooking them their favourite meal. I usually make my Dad breakfast on Fathers Day since he loves Haddock. I always have to get my Mum to help me though, since I can’t cook to save my life.

Take him out.
It doesn’t have to be expensive, but even taking your Dad for a coffee at a local coffee shop is great idea. Not only does he get a little treat, but you both get to spend quality time together.

That’s just a few Father’s Day ideas for you. I hope you enjoyed reading this post, make sure you let me know what you’re getting your Dad for Father’s Day in the comments section. I would love to know. ☺️

I hope you all have a great day celebrating Father’s Day. ❀️ Thankyou for reading, love Jennie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx